I found this short I wrote years ago while combing through the sludge of my external hard drive, totally forgot I wrote it as it’s far too positive to have ever come from me, guess I wasn’t always an old jaded writer.
I was hesitant to post it, but figured screw it why not? if you can’t throw out all different kinds of your writing then what is the point of having a site, right? so good or bad here it is, I only did minor editing, so if it reads a little crappy my apologies for that, but I wanted to keep it as original as possible, I fear if I were to mess with it these days I would probably just hit delete lol still, whatever the hell was going through my mind so many years ago I have zero clue now.
J
“Do you remember a basketball game awhile ago where they had the half time million dollar shot?”
“No sorry….. why do you ask?”
“Well this guy had I think 30 seconds maybe 20 to take a shot and win 1 million dollars, believing he didn’t really stand much of a chance he threw the ball way over his head, high into the air, you could see it written on his face that he was happy just to be the center of attention even if for a few minutes, like most he believed he had no chance of getting the shot and enjoyed it for what it was worth…… and do you know what?”
“What?”
“He got it in, it didn’t even touch the rim, he got it in all the way from the half way line, he truly made a million dollar shot.”
“So how does this answer my question?”
“Well you wanted to understand what God was all about didn’t you?”
“Yes I wouldn’t have asked otherwise”
“Well there you go, I just answered your question”
“How?…… I mean how was that the ultimate answer?, a basketball shot for a mill?, I would have thought you could come up with something better than that”
stirs cup of boiling hot coffee
“How could I come up with something better?, if you can come up with something better then how do you know you are not in touch with God?”
Takes bite of pastry
“Wouldn’t mean I was in touch with him….. just means I have more of an imagination than you that’s all”
Slurps coffee as it drips onto his shirt
“Hmmm”
“What’s hmmm?”
“Well I thought you were more…… I don’t know open I guess, more understanding that the workings of God don’t start and end with the moving of a mountain or the saving of a small child from a burning building….that’s all”
sips coffee
“So……. You mean God works in mysterious ways?…..that’s kinda old school explanation don’t you think?”
“Well I just gave you a new explanation and you rebuked it”
“I didn’t rebuke anything I just meant that as far as explaining God it sounded…. Well basic that’s all, I was waiting for the battles between good and evil not basketball stories”
Eats half of a chocolate doughnut
“Have you ever read the National Enquirer?”
Sips coffee
“Once when I was waiting for the butcher to look at my teeth, waste of paper and ink if you ask me”
“Well look at it like this, all stories have a ring of truth to them, how much, we really don’t know, but once be it hundreds of years or only last week something happened, people heard, saw something, told a story then someone wrote it down…… see where I am heading?”
“Yeah I think so…. Your telling me the Bible basically is true right?”
“You tell me……it’s what you feel….perceive as truth that holds the key to your questions, no one can tell you how to believe, only you can do that and that brings me back to the million dollar shot, that man believed he could do it yet expected nothing, low and behold he did it”
Takes another bite of his pastry
“Yeah but I still feel that as an example it is…..well…….wrong”
Finishes coffee and orders a shot of whiskey
“Have you ever gone to bed one night……..lights are turned off so its dark, you take off your clothes and are standing in your room naked?”
Knocks back shot
“Ummm…well yeah……so?”
“So you are basically in your most venerable state right?”
“Yes”
“Most of the time have you felt at ease? I mean comfortable as you walked around in the dark naked before climbing into bed?”
“Yes”
“Right……now several days or even weeks later have you done the same thing and felt so uneasy that you slept with your bedside light on?”
“Sometimes in my youth…..so what?”
“Those are the signs you need to look for…….not mountains being moved or children being saved from a fire by a stranger that suddenly disappears, instinctual feelings and nobodies making million dollar shots are what you need to embrace”
“Christ don’t let the church hear you say that they’ll crucify you”
“Been there done that”
“What?”
“Oh nothing just thinking of lunch out loud”
Finishes coffee
“Lunch?……oh no……I am going to be late for my granddaughters play……it was….nice talking with you…..sorry what was your name again?”
“J”
“Well it was nice talking with you Jay but I am afraid I must dash”
“Its O.K John maybe I will see you here tomorrow, same time?”
“Sure why not…..uuhh….I don’t remember telling you my name”
“I am sure you did….how else would I know it?”
“You’re right…….well I will see you tomorrow then, maybe you can enlighten me more on life”
“I am sure I could…….tomorrow then.”
“Yes tomorrow”
TOMORROW
“Hello again Jay”
sits down on stool and motions bartender
“Hello John…….how are you today?…….how was your granddaughters play?”
“Fantastic thank you for asking….she could almost have past for an Angel”
orders more coffee
“Indeed she once was”
“Huh?……umm……I was thinking last night when I was getting ready for bed about what you said”
orders a coffee and whiskey shot
“Early for that isn’t it?……what were you thinking?”
“Early?…yeah guess it is early but I need to build my confidents before tonight…… well I thought about what you said and saw the logic in the explanation…..it boils down to belief doesn’t it?”
drinks shot then sips coffee
“Belief?”
looks at the box by Johns feet filled with personal items and sips coffee
“Yeah…. I mean that guy that made the million dollar shot believed he could do it yet never expected to DO it and because of that belief he got it in…..right?”
slurps coffee
“Pretty much…..yes…..you were laid off from your job today?”
signals bartender again
“Yeah…too old…too slow in a fast environment, some 19 something wanna be big shot took my position….too old…….I’m only 50!….after their little pep talk I felt like I was retiring….Christ……how am I going to tell my wife?….we almost got to a position in life where we wouldn’t have to worry about money….now…..now I don’t know”
long pause
“John….have you ever read the bible?”
orders another coffee as bartender brings another whiskey
“Once…..at school…I didn’t really have any say so…..your not going to tell me if I read the bible all will be well are you?…I was just starting to like you Jay”
“No…no…you could read it 1000 times over and still get hit by a bus on the way to work leaving your family to struggle emotionally and financially…….no I was wondering if you had any thoughts about it that’s all”
inhales shot
“Christ Jay!……hit by a bus?…..that sounds kinda cold don’t you think?”
“Well it was just an example John…I mean when you finished reading it did you feel anything?”
“No…but I was too young to really understand it I think….I was only 10 years old”
orders a burger with extra fries
“Are you going to be eating Jay?”
“Yes…I already ordered they were waiting for you”
orders a glass of lemonade
“Oh sorry I didn’t realize”
“That’s O.K you didn’t know…..just like your job”
“Meaning?”
“Well if you had of known it was in jeopardy would you have worked harder? Become more efficient?…..or was it just a good excuse to employ someone cheaper than you?”
“My work was immaculate they even said so themselves…they believed it was time for new blood…..fresh ideas…blah blah blah”
orders a full bottle of whiskey and places it off to the right
“That is not going to help you”
points to the bottle
“I know Jay…..I am not the type to drink it then go home to beat the wife….I…..I don’t know….have you ever been in a position where no matter how much you talk no one seems to be listening to you?…….no matter your actions be them noble or other wise no matter what, things just don’t turn out like you had hoped?”
sips lemonade
“Funny you should ask…..yes…I once did something truly believing my actions would help for the greater good”
“And?….did it?”
stares at John for a minute
“Not as I thought it would have…..even today many doubt the work I have done…sighting it as false history”
“Bastards…that’s all they are Jay…bloody bastards”
pours a fresh shot
“Well I wouldn’t call them that….more like misguided that’s all”
“Hmmm…you say tomarto I say tomato….what’s the difference?”
raises glass
“Here is to misguided belief that we thought we could make a difference”
raises lemonade
“I wouldn’t say I was misguiding just hopeful that’s all”
smiles
“Do you remember the book of Job?”
“Job?”
“Well its spelt Job but pronounced Jobe…like globe”
“Oh yeah….funny you should mention that….my wife has a bible on her bookcase in our room and it fell off and hit the floor…the spine broke and the book of Job was the only section to fall out…. I mean all the pages had separated and should have scattered on the floor yet Job was the only one that did……even then it stayed complete…..weird”
“Well strange things happen….. I remember there was a story I heard a while ago about a man whose wife complained all the time about his smoking….. its going to kill you one of these days…you know the kind of thing…well anyway he was walking home from work one day and across the road the towns bank was being robbed…..he took out a smoke, and fumbled with his lighter, dropped it and as he bent down to pick it up bullets flew in all directions……one right where his head should have been if he hadn’t of bent down”
orders another lemonade
“So what your telling me is although smoking kills, on this day in particular it saved his life?….now that’s a contradiction of life if ever I heard one”
“Well yes…but he died about 4 years later of lung cancer”
“Jesus Jay…nice ending…you should have left it at the good part”
gulps shot
“Well…yes and no, you see it was meant to save his life but that didn’t mean he should have kept smoking…see……everything has its rhyme and reason…if he had of stopped he would still be alive today but instead he used it as an example to his wife that it was healthy for him and so he died”
their food arrives
“A salad?…that’s all you ordered?”
“I don’t like to eat Gods creatures”
takes bite out of burger
“So tell me then what does JOBE have to do with me then”
“Well……..think of it this way…Job had his life just how he wanted it, he worshiped God in the ways he believed he should……”
“Oh yeah I remember that now….God and the devil made a wager to see if he would walk away from his beliefs….right?”
picks up a handful of fries and stuffs them into his mouth
“That’s right…….so…do you really think that their wager was a one off?”
he stops chewing and looks at J
“Um…..never really thought about it like that before…I guess because it was in the bible and it is so old then it doesn’t happen anymore…like parting of seas and stuff…you just don’t see that kind of thing these days”
he finishes eating his fries
“Don’t worry John, you and most of the world think in the same vein……….most don’t realize the bible isn’t a book to read when your bored or to tuck under your arm when you set off on Sunday morning to church…..no……it’s a survival guide, to life if you will”
sips lemonade
“A survival guide?…..hmmmm….that’s a new angle, like I said before, you shouldn’t say that to any church people”
takes another bite of his burger
“Well a lot of them are going to get a surprise when it comes time and some do refer to it as just that…..but I stand by my words….in order to get through this world you must know when to pick up your lighter and when to throw it away”
begins eating his salad
“Right…now I understand…..but I have a big question for you”
pours a shot and drinks it then refills the glass
“Why are you here with me?……I mean no offense your company and words of wisdom have helped to keep me focused…..but …well…you seem to be a very knowledgeable man and yet your sitting with a stranger in a bar eating a salad…why aren’t you at work or something”
“Honestly?….I like you John, you’re the kind of person whose only wish is to live your life, love the woman you married and do your best to keep your family safe…believe it or not but you’re a dying breed and it would be a shame to lose you”
stops eating and drinks a shot
“How do you know me Jay?…..how do you what I am like?….I could be a murderer for all you know I mean you met me in a bar for Christ’s sake……but what you said is true….I don’t want to have my family worry about anything……we aren’t a dying breed though……just hard to find amongst all the trash that’s all”
finishes burger and washes it down with another shot
“Don’t drink anymore today John”
finishes salad
“John? You O.K?”
“Huh? Oh yeah…..I…I just had a funny shiver that’s all….in all truth it kind of put me off the whiskey”
orders a coffee
“As I was saying we are not a dying breed there are still a lot of hard working people out there that care for their families”
“Don’t get me wrong I know they are out there…..but sadly they grow smaller as each year passes…you see youth of today understand the concept of Jesus Christ and his actions about as much as they understand the concept of an unlimited universe, their minds have been dulled down so much if it were a knife it couldn’t cut through a cucumber so to grasp the theory that a man…who happened to be the son of God, sacrificed himself for all of mans sins for generations to come sounds about as realistic as a Goth wearing shocking pink shoes”
“Hmmmm….sorry…just got an image of a pink shoe wearing Goth…I understand where your coming from though, today’s society is rapidly losing its morals on all fronts…including the home…but you talk as if we are coming to the end of the world series and the team isn’t playing as good as it should…I mean you sound like…well I dun no the end is neigh”
slurps coffee
“Sorry I don’t mean to sound so depressing it’s just the way the world is becoming and the worst part of all is no one seems to care anymore”
looks out the window as cars pass by
“I read this theory about the solidity of reality”
sips lemonade
“Do tell john”
“Well the theory and I don’t know how correct it is but the theory basically stands that if a blind man knew where everything was, because of that knowledge when he goes to it, it would be solid…..but if you were to move things around say like put a chair or a stool in his normal path would he walk through it…because as he doesn’t know that its there then it ceases to exist”
“That’s the solid basis for your theory?”
“Well it goes into more detail than that, its about being taught what existence really is…and we don’t know what existence really is…I mean if you took a child aside and told them they could move things with their minds….as they grow older would they be able to do it? I mean we know this glass is a glass because we grew up being told it is….its all about conditioning…..the blind man is the clean slate…..solidity only exists because he is told its there….we believe what we do because we are conditioned to do it….”
“Your talking perception of reality…..its human nature to believe……hope even that there is more to the foundations of life…well…the understanding of creation in general really…man is the way he is solely because he let himself become it…..do you see?….its not so much as conditioning as not caring either way….we all know there are weird things out in this world but most of us laugh them off…saying those that believe are mad or just plain wrong…..they close their eyes to the world and open the good book….but what if those theories are proven right?…what if all the conundrums of the human mind are brought to light and proven right or wrong…come what may…..what would the human mind do then?”
“How do you mean jay?”
“The mind hungers for new knowledge it hungers for the answers to everything….what do you think would happen if it were given those answers? What would it do then? it would have no reason to exist would it?”
“To know everything would in itself cause total shut down?…is that what your saying?”
“Basically yes…”
“No I don’t think so”
slurps coffee
“Thank you John…”
“What for?”
“Well you just proved my point”
“And that was?”
“That man will never find all the answers…because he refuses to believe he has them when he holds them in his hands…..its not conditioning as such…its more like subconscious ignorance…while thirsting for the truth…you will drown in the river of knowledge…”
“So humanity on a whole is doomed then…according to you…”
“Not doomed…no…..just not really going any further down the road…..I don’t want to sound like a bible basher…..”
“BUT”
smiles
“But…if you read the bible the answers are already they’re waiting for all to see…..unlike the human mind that builds a labyrinth of theories from all angles then proceeds to lose themselves in it….a sort of subconscious ignorance is bliss if you will….really I am not trying to bash you over the head but read the bible…dissect it if you want…all the answers lie in there..”
“I don’t know Jay. it does sound like preaching to me”
orders another coffee and a lemonade
“O.K here’s an example, the book of Numbers gives you a glimpse that once there were beasts that resembled werewolf like creatures roaming the world”
“Really?…it states that in the bible?”
“Not directly…you must look between the lines to find your answers…O.K.…..again…if you are a believer that werewolves exist where would you go?”
“I guess the library…or the internet…that’s what I would do”
“Right…and that’s what every other person would do….but you failed….like many others to recognize that despite whether the bible is truly a book about Jesus…it still remains fact that it is a book of things that did happen once……so if you look at it from that angle then its one of the best books of mans history….it gives insight into things that were found and events that happened……the beasts from the book of Numbers could have been the original werewolves…yet no one would think to check it out…..instead they would rather go online and talk to someone who thinks they are a werewolf……”
deeply sighs
“Jay I think you take it all too seriously man…really…we can not change the world….you said so yourself that man wishes to be ignorant so why smack your head against a brick wall?”
“Because all it would take is one person to get up enough nerve…stand up….and walk over to the light switch and flick it…that’s all…..just one”
“Well if what you say is true then we as a race have bred our children to chase our tails believing that it holds the answers……what makes you think there is that one person left to flip the switch?”
“Free will”
sips lemonade
“Thank you for the lemonade by the way”
“No problem…I just used my free will to order it for you…”
chuckles
“That’s all it takes John…..”
“Look Jay…if what you say is true…..it leaves no room to maneuver does it?…..I mean its really my way or the highway……if you don’t find to the answers in the bible then sorry about your luck…you found some answers but well hey you didn’t get them from me so sucks to be you……..if that’s the case where the hell is free will?”
“All I can say to free will is that you’re living in it”
“What?”
“Your living in it, why else is there a multiple choice answer section to the questions of the universe?…..FREE WILL!…..it gets better John…you see depending on how you lived your life grants access into heaven…its really open to everyone”
“Everyone?…..hmmmm…..well that goes totally against the very teachings of the church now doesn’t it?……how do I know your not some anti church guy who goes around converting people one soul at a time?”
“I give you a view through my eyes John I have not demanded or forced you into believing one thing I have said….you have your views I have my knowledge…but answer this question for me……when you die you will go to heaven…yet how many times did you voluntarily go into a church to worship God?”
“Well there is no proof that I am going to heaven but if I did for arguments sake I would have to say voluntarily……about 5 times and none for personal reasons….they were either funerals or weddings of people I knew and loved”
“Well for the sake of the argument…you are going to heaven…that much IS certain, so why are you? you never went to church to worship…so if what THEY say is true you should be cast down into the pits of hell…so I ask you…why?”
“Well…..I believe there is a higher presence I have always felt there was something or someone out there….where ever there is…..I understood the fundamental reasoning between right and wrong and have always done my best to do right……yet it seems that is considered wrong by those in the high positions of the religious orders….so in their eyes I will go to hell..”
“Well…yes and no”
“Well yes and no what?”
sip lemonade
“Well yes God would like…..well….basically a thank you….if you want to strip away the veneer, its all he wants…acceptance…..a thank you……..and of course love…that’s all…you don’t have to go to a building to dedicate your love to him…you could do that right where your sitting….many people go to churches to gather together and worship as one…it helps them…it makes them happy…but not all people are the same…..you see John…religion wasn’t created by God…its existence is solely because of man….and unfortunately there were many who saw it as a means of controlling the masses….many still do today….it is they who accuse non church goers of eternal damnation and it is they who shall be eternally damned”
“Harsh words there Jay….but which is the yes and which is the no?”
“Yes your right about a higher presence….if you concentrate hard enough you can feel him all around you……..”
“Ummm…and the no part?”
“The no part is no your not going to be cast down into the pits of hell……its hard to explain in one sitting John…but HE knows you love him…subconsciously you give out an aura of either love, hate, or plain confusion….we can see it as plain as looking at your coffee cup”
“We?”
“What?”
“You said we…not they…or he….”
“Sorry…I meant HE…..he can see it….you’ve heard of auras haven’t you?”
“Yeah my wife got one of those aura pictures done last year…it was all green and blue I think..”
slurps coffee
“Right…well its basically along those lines….each soul gives of a radiant of emotion….a scroll of each persons being…its open and available for THEM to read as it were, and although you haven’t openly spoken to him, subconsciously you’ve been chatting for a long time”
“Hmmm…you’re a strange one Jay….and I cant help but like you….so now I must throw this one at you….different religions…explain that!”
“What’s to explain?”
“Different beliefs, I mean if there was just Jesus and not a bunch of clones wondering around with him then that would make all other religions wrong…wouldn’t it?”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why?…….because they don’t live by the teachings of Jesus….so then if Jesus is the son of God that would mean his words are the words of God….which then would mean the words of any other religion are in all essence wrong!……right?”
“Wrong”
“Wrong?…why wrong?”
“O.K…think of different religions like this…your cup of coffee…and my glass of lemonade…stand side by side they are completely different. right?”
“Well yeah…”
“But when you break them down they are essentially the same thing”
“And that would be?”
“Water”
“Water….right”
“Yes John…water…..without it neither would be…see where I am going?…both totally different yet they have one main factor that forever binds then into existence neither being like the other…yet both need the same element to be…see?”
“Yes I do…….you know I have never thought about any of it like this before..”
“Well you have been brought up to not really question God haven’t you?…so why would you look at religion from any other angle other than the only one you know… trust……you see its another human fault…to only feel comfortable in something you have known since birth….mankind at the end of the day does not like change…so why would the majority of the population even think of looking?
Finishes lemonade
“What about those that dedicate themselves to researching the unknown?…..I mean they must have something different within themselves to be able to break away from the norm….to look for something different other than what we generally believe….how would you explain them?”
orders fresh coffee
“Well….what kind of explanation would you like?”
“…..the only one?”
“There isn’t just one John…that’s my point……man searches all the angles to create the perfect answers just like those who would say my words contradict…….its humanities goal to fill their path with a mist so thick you must read the map borrowed from someone else that was written by a blind man.”
“When you use that point Jay it leaves little open for argument….or is that how you like it?”
finishes coffee
“I wish someone would stand up and prove me wrong John…I would like to see them try….really I would…that at least will show me man is not lost”
“Lost?…..we are at our most technologically advanced point in our history…how does that make us lost?”
“It makes you lost solely because you have it…man has lost the essence of survival….like every other animal on this planet you need it to live… to survive, and man is very rapidly losing his”
“Instinct?…like killing your food?….knowing where to build your house?…you mean like that?”
“No John….basic instincts action to reaction……your losing it more and more every day…..look at it like this……..a farmer has a barn full of wheat right….thousands of mice invade it all at once he will know it and kill them within days…yet if only a small amount came in and took it bit by bit…well he wouldn’t notice until it was too late would he?….by then he is doomed for the winter”
“Well with that out look man is doomed…at least how you look at them”
“Never doomed…God doesn’t judge on ignorance or doubt…..he judges by deed…how you lived your life…..like I said…you have never gone to church to worship him yet you and others like you will ascend through the gates of heaven…..a good heart cannot be covered, it shines no matter where you try to hide it”
“Jay………..it has been really something to talk with you these last two days…but I must go home and tell my wife the news…and well…I have no reason to come into the city anymore…so I doubt I will see you again”
“It has been a pleasure to talk with you John….and take care of your grandson he will stray from the path in his teens if no one is watching him”
“Grandson?…I only told……I will Jay…and thank you once again…good luck in your quest…if there is a God I hope then to meet you in a better place one day”
“You will…but I shall see you before that..”
both get up and shake hands
“Bye J”
smiles
“Bye John…so you round”
“Yeah…take care of yourself”
nods and watches John leave
TWENTY ONE YEARS LATER.
Knock knock knock
“Can I help you?”
“Yes I am very sorry to disturb you but I am an old friend of Johns….I know this is a bad time but I was wondering if it would be o.k. to see him?”
“Well I guess it wouldn’t be too much trouble…funny John didn’t say anything about someone coming over to see him…what did you say your name was?”
“Oh…J..”
“Jay?…..well that’s a name from the past…you look much younger than I thought you would be after so many years..”
“Times been good to me Karen”
“……oh….I….did John tell you my name?”
“Yes….things stick in my mind I guess…right up here is he?”
“Yes…maybe I should see if he’s awake first”
“There’s no need…would it be rude of me to ask for a cup of tea?”
“Well of course not….it was rude of me not to offer…I will bring it right up”
“Thank you”
Knocks on bedroom door
“John?…..are you awake?”
“Yes….please come in I…..I…J?….is it really you?”
“Yes John…how are you?”
coughs
“As good as can be for a dying man I guess”
sits in chair beside his bed
“Well true…but we all die…it’s a given”
“Is it?…you look no different now than the first day I met you in that bar…so you tell me…do we all really die?”
“Yes John…we do all die…some sooner than others, some later…and if you read the bible…then you would know that some die and are reborn”
laughs
“Yes I read the bible….it wasn’t long after we spoke that I did…and you were right…it does hold many answers, more than I thought it ever would…but it never answered one question that was always in the back of my mind”
“Who am I really?”
“Yes….who are you really J….I mean I truly believe I know…but like you said so long ago…human needs block the path to many things……”
“Who do you think I am?”
coughs
“The son of God…if I sound mad I can blame the drugs”
laughs
“Well…I am many thing John….that is just one of them..”
smiles
“What I don’t understand is why me?…why did you talk with me…who am I in the scheme of things?”
“Who are you?…….well lets see….after we parted ways you read the bible….began to understand the answers to your life long questions and pursued a goal you never knew you would…you received a very large settlement for unfair dismissal from your old company and instead of moving away to live the life of luxury you injected your money into a worthy belief…..that belief has saved the lives of over three hundred children and it also re-educated their parents…sending them out into the world to work….one man did this…and that was you…..now…do you see what just one man can do in this world John if he just stands up and flicks on the switch?”
smiles
“Yes…..but you taught me…how do I know if it came from the heart?”
knock knock
“Sorry to disturb you honey…..here’s some tea for you both”
“Thank you my love”
“Thank you Karen”
blows steam from tea
“Honey….I love you….don’t ever forget that I love you”
Karen blushes
“Well I love you too, sentimental old fool…now I will just leave you both to catch up on old times”
“Thank you honey”
“J”
“Yes John”
“Are you here to……take me?”
“Take you?……no I don’t take souls John…but I am here to be with you till the end”
“The end……..the end is near……what’s your favorite season J?”
“Oooo…that would have to be…….Autumn….or as you call it fall….the colors….the emotions that fill the landscape …it drowns me in a river of pure enlightenment”
“Mine is winter…..never sure why…it just seemed right to me…snow on the ground…the sharpness of the air as you breathed it in….I think it made me feel alive……I’m scared of dying J….I wont lie…I’m scared I will miss things like winter…….my wife….children….everything……there are so many variants as to what heaven is truly like…..and I don’t want to lose the feelings of this world….I love them…for what they are worth….I love walking in the snow…feeling the cold as it travels down my throat…watching the mists roll over the hills……I really don’t want to lose it all…does that sound selfish?”
“Not at all…it sounds like you fell in love with creation……I really cannot say as to what lies before you John….but you need not worry…….not for what you leave behind…who you leave behind…any of it…..you can trust me on that”
“I do……….there is someone else here…in the room”
“I know…..you don’t need to fear them John….maybe I should get your wife”
“Yes….if you could thank you”
leaves room and returns within seconds
“Honey?…..are….are you alright?”
Karen sits beside John on the bed and takes his hand in hers
“No honey….but I will be….I just wanted to tell you I love you before I go….never forget that I love you O.K.?”
Karen begins to cry and silently nods her head
“Thank you for everything J…..I love you as well you know”
smiles
“I know John…I have always known…..don’t be afraid go with him and I will see you soon”
nods and slowly closes his eyes as his hand grows limp and slips from Karen’s grasp
J gets up and walks to her side putting a hand on her shoulder, instantly she stops crying and looks up at him, eyes wide, a smile breaks across her face
“Build on his passing Karen…cry not for those who ascend to Heaven…..leave your tears for those that do not make it there”
she nods and wipes the tears away
“Thank you J…..I…will”
“Now I must go…..one day…in the winter…yes the winter we will meet again….until then goodbye”
silently he walks to the door, pauses to look back at John one last time smiles and closes the door behind him…